I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
