Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
