she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
