I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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