I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
