fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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