the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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