How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
