The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
wow bdsm is so cute
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
