Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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