New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
