i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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