I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
