Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
we should paint friendship bongs
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
