I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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