I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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