Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
now i know why i became what i already was.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize