dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
