what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
did i just pee glitter
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
