yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
