I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
