I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
As shirtless as possible
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
