I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
