found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
