it was like his penis was on wheels.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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