Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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