Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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