I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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