Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
