i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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