Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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