school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
