why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
