She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
