So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
