apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
