It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So many bounce houses so little time
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
