why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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