dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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