I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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