I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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