onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize