just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
