do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
