Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
