I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
