I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
