i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize