He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
