I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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