flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
