I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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