chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
