I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize