I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
