my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
