sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
