i don't like sucking hair
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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